I have already written this before, I just thought I would add it to my journal.

Well, what a life we all lead... All of us with our ups and downs, some worse than others. One person I look to knowing that my life will seem peachy after oing so is Mikael Cedergren, my idol in the digital art world. A man has suffered so much only to bring it out in artwork that could make the toughest of men whimper. I could only hope to one day produce a piece that is a fraction as powerful as his.

My lifestyle sometimes determines my work as I am Straight Edge and Vegan. However it is usually my past that has the most influence. When I was seven I suffered an Asthma attack which nearly killed me, fortunately i survived. Soon after my parents divorced, it was a rough time in my life as my parents ated each other and yelling, fighting and physical abuse from my father to my mother was not uncommon. These images of pain and brutality were burnt into my memory, leading me to eventually hate myself. Throughout my teen years I attempted suicide 13 times and had 6 drug overdoses, my mother saving my life on a significant number of occasions. I finally realised what I was doing to myself when I found my best friend in his bath with his wrists cut, this is something that has haunted me for 4 years. In a way something as traumatic turned to be the best thing that could have happened to me, with out it I would certainly not be typing this. I have now been poison free for 2 years I am very very happy with my life, I may have depression but it will not stop me from enjoying the one thing I cannot get back once it is gone.

I look at what I have just said and realise my life has not been all that bad, there is always someone worse off, in tougher situations. They are the people I dedicate my work to.